Month: December 2012

The Wait

christmas-tree-with-presents-3v2

It’s really dark in here.
And very stuffy, I can hardly breath.

Dark and stuffy. If I concentrate I can hear others around me. They seem very distant and disjointed. Or perhaps that’s me?

There’s a tiny chink of light coming in just above my head, but I can’t get my hands up to explore it. My wrists seem to be anchored straight out from my sides, as if in some kind of homage to a well-known religious figure. There is very little give in the bindings so I can only assume they, whoever they are, have used wire to shackle me. Probably used the same stuff on my ankles too. To stop me from kicking my way out.

The light I can see is very pale, almost a washed out look. Like a cold and grey winter’s morning, an unpromising start to an unsatisfying day. Almost as bad as the last few days I have suffered. It seems hard to remember now but up to a couple of days ago I had friends, lots of them. I had a life and a view. That’s what I have missed the most I think. Being able to see things around me. Did I mention how dark it was?

Oh, I just heard a door slam. It was quite far off but in the same building I think. Yes, I can definitely hear movement and it’s getting closer. There is the sound of voices all around me, so close now that if they were solid I’m sure I would be able to reach out and touch them. Surely they must find me soon? They must drag me out of this dark place?

Then suddenly, there is a frantic scrabbling and I am lifted up. The light fills my world. The wonderful light that I thought I had lost forever. And I can see her. Her eyes wide with delight, and almost impossibly I know in that instant that she is the one for me.

My heart beats so hard I’m sure it will burst from my chest. I feel her excited breath on my ear as she hugs me and I hear her say, “Oh Mummy, I love him, I will always love him. I shall call him Teddy.”

Merry Christmas Everybody.teddy-bear-pics-15

The Meaning

john-lennon-happiness

In all the teeming mass of life.  All the millions of worlds.  The countless civilisations, the incalculable number of lives, loves, persecutions and injustices. The raping of children of their innocence and the songs of birds who manage, against all the odds, to keep their’s intact.

In that one great expulsion of matter, that one forceful blast of life giving everything, the universe expanded and gave life to life in all it’s various and varying forms.

And life was the Majesty. The Majesty and the meaning of it all.

But as the cosmos crept it’s way forward to the pitch that would become it’s goal, to pause, as at the top of the arc.  As intelligence and progress faultered even on the brink of understanding. To collapse upon itself.

Slowly, inexorably, rushing to implode. The BIG PHUT. As the stars dance together a pas d’armes toward oblivion. All man’s ingenuity and man’s cruelty to his fellow man, falls like moth’s wings. Unfelt, unbidden.

As God feels the need to inhale, to be able to breathe again, God’s breath.