The End Of My World

Well it’s official.
My world is due to end.
I’ve had a letter confirming it will all come crashing down on the 21st of December 2012!

How do I feel about this?
Well, thank you for asking.
As it happens I feel…
…nothing really, just an overwhelming sense of sadness.

So many things left unsaid. So many messages unheeded.
I certainly don’t feel the need to throw myself at a religion, like some insecure iron filings when the Great Magnet in The Sky appears. No, mine will be a dignified passing. A time for quiet reflection with a side order of “Let’s wait and see shall we?”

Wait and see if this really is the end. Or if I get a “GAME OVER”, followed by an entreating “Add more coins for further credit” message at the last moment. A chance to continue on another plane of existence perhaps.

My wife seems to think I am taking this too hard. As if it’s somehow personal.
“Everybody gets those” she said nodding in the general direction of the kitchen table, where I had cast aside the damning sheet of A4.

Why can’t she understand that, for me at least, the Mayans were right all along. This is where the calendar stops. No more tomorrows. After the final setting there will be no more rising of the sun to signify a new day. No heralding of a fresh dawn. No, another chance to right the wrongs I have thrust upon the world.

All the people I have connected with in the past, will become like shadows to me, vague, untouchable, contacts broken.

All in all, my number is up. It seems.

I return, like a wounded animal, with a sense of dark foreboding. To lift up that hurtful missive again, only for it to drop from my grasp and fall  face down on the cold slab of pine in the room where the food is prepared.

What’s this?
On the other side?
Have they included further insults for me to bear?

No, in an almost unbearably chirpy font, brightly coloured to add to it’s inappropriate sense of humour.
It tells me that “You Mr ******<insert name here>, are now entitled to an upgrade and a reduced rate for the next 24 months if you call us today.” 

But wait just a cotton picking minute. If they can now offer me a brand new state of the art device that, apparently, blows whistles and rings bells, why were they charging me nearly twice that amount of my hard earned money, for what was clearly an inferior gadget, for the last two years of my turgid existence.

I think not 3 (for they hide themselves behind an innocent digit)

I’m off to Virgin Media.